I was just sitting around thinkin.... a dangerous thing, I know. But alas, my mind wandered and I rather enjoyed the awkward, quirky, emotionally confusing, painful trip. I figured I'd put it down in words and share with you all the wonders that are the men that have come into my life over the last 22 years. Christopher Page- I think it is ridiculous that I still know you're name and can remember what your yearbook picture looks like all these years later. We were in Mrs Webber's kindergarten class together and I had the biggest crush on you. I'm pretty sure you moved away at the end of the year and I've never seen you ever again. But still. I shall never forget. Oh dear Bobby Roberts. I am pretty sure I was in lust with you all through Junior High. To this day, I'm still not sure why. But after my 13th birthday party you typed me out a note. I was so excited that It never left my hand for a second that entire day. I still have it. LoL. I dont know what else to say. But you deserve a tip of the hat, my friend. My international love affair with Joel Bryant is one that I will treasure forever. I was 14, he was 15. I, and American. He, a Canadian. And we met and fell in love in Mexico. My brother Corey swears on his life that his hair smelled like toothpaste and refers to him only as "Colgate" ... which drives me nucking futs. He hair did NOT smell like toothpaste. I know this because on our last night together we held hands under a picnic table while sharing a blanket, he spent hours writing me a my very first love letter, and then kissed me outside of the bathrooms at the church in Zarahembla in front of about twelve of the MK's. We never saw each other again. But we would chat online, he'd hand write me love letters, and we would talk about how we were so blessed to have found each other and fallen in love and that we'd get married and live happy ever after. He insisted that we would Honeymoon on the moon... because by the time we were old enough to be together for reals- they'd have resorts there and it'd be awesome and he wanted to prove the we would go to the moon for me. :) From there... it gets a little blurry. Mostly a shmorgisboard of slobbery kisses from half of thurston high school thanks to Theatre Cast Parties, A deck of playing cards, and spin the bottle. Lucas Dumont- a dirty disgusting foul human being that was an amazing kisser and made me feel rebellious by steaming up the windows in Subway parking lot. My mom warned me to be careful, as he was much older and only using me... when the truth was, I was his supervisor at work and I was using him in my free time and abusing my bossing-around power during my work time :) Thanks Lucas :) Matt Sevits... we shared a passion for writing, he is absolutely hysterical, he can dance to Britney with the best of them, and is simply just a joy to be around. Therefore... of course he was too good to be straight, but I wouldn't trade our experiences together for the world. I cried when he broke up with me, I was honestly surprised and heavy-hearted, but that was no reason to lose a good friend... we actually hung out and went to the movies the day after the break up. He made my junior year a friggin BLAST. He is who I would consider my first "boyfriend," though it was short lived. I would like to think that had I stayed in Oregon, we would've remained good friends. Brace yourselves.... Zach Bingaman. The craziest, most drama-filled, riveting, exciting time of my life. For sure. While he was angsty and metro and sensitive he treated me like a queen. He went out of his way daily to make me feel special. He was patient and sweet and nurturing. To be honest... he was a damn good boyfriend and I consider myself lucky. We met in the most extraordinary of circumstances. My mom picked him out of a crowd of hundreds of people as the one man that was the most "my type"... lo-and-behold.... lol :) Good eye Mommy! I was completely devastated when we broke up... I'm still not sure how that happened. It was a fluke conversation gone awkwardly, amicably awry and I honestly didnt think it was real. I wasnt even positive we were ACTUALLY broken up. Until he quickly moved on with a girl down the hall.... but i digress. We both handled it badly, but I walked out of the situation with fantastic memories and three amazing friends that I would've never had come into my life without him. Krag, Dezzy, and Julia. To this day, I have a very soft spot of fondness for the three of them. Krag and I have even walked together through Central Park and lunched in NYC. Its a beautiful thing. When I moved to New Jersey... I had a slew of dirtbags attempting to break down the door to my downstairs-bidness to no avail. Dating out here is much different than dating in the northwest, thats for sure! and lastly.... Adam Fredericks. It has been 2 1/2 years. We moved in together after five months. Hasty, but worth it. A rollercoaster ride, but worth it. He is perfect. A pain in the ass, but perfect. Everything I never knew I wanted. I feel blessed to be with him. Confused a little... how did I get so lucky to find a man that I want to put all of my energy into and am willing to commit myself to for life at a ripe, immature age of 19? It blows my mind. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a dream and will wake up and find that what we have really is too good to be true. Dont get me wrong, we fight and argue and get on each others nerves and we've had as many bad days as we've had good... but in the end- enough will never be enough. There is something so special about our connection that we both know that being without each other would be such a monumental mistake its just not an option. He is the first man I have ever truly been in love with. And he will be the last. So. That is my ode to all of the men that have come and gone in my life that have helped shaped this kooky crazy cracker that I am today. A tip of my hat to you all... and most importantly- Thank you.
